Foreigners make ridiculous faces

It's about time I introduced you to the gang. This manky bunch of foreign people make me happy.

This is Janetta. Janetta hails from Canada and spends most of her time running into things. The rest of the time she spends contemplating ways I might end her in her sleep. Janetta has a great affection for meat, touques and making everyone breakfast.

This is Claire. Claire has an infuriating habit of not taking bad photos, so hopefully you find her American smile creepy.Claire enjoys learning Irish and getting into arguments with storekeepers about how to make pies.

This is Ryan. I already told you about Ryan, so instead of a story about his crazed dismantling of bunk beds at 3 in the morning, you get a Ryanquote and a nickname:

"I just stepped in sewage"- Stabby.

This is Joanna. Joanna has the highest Vitamin C count of anyone I know, and cannot say the word bag. She is also Canadian and has single-pantedly polished most of the Wiklow mountain range with her bum.

This is Marine. She sings S Club 7 constantly and enjoys pretending to be a bear. By the end of the semester, this Frenchwoman will have either killed or adopted a sheep.

This is Aidan. She comes from Canada and has a highly disturbing obsession with pandas. Aidan, like most Canadian children, was brainwashed from infancy into believing a hippo lived in her closet.

This is Matt. Matt is often mistaken for a homeless person for eating things like cans of beans and packages of ham ravenously on the street. Matt aspires to be McDonalds' first Kiwi spokesmodel.

This is Sego. She likes to dance and feast on radishes, not necessarily in the order. Sego once sang me a French lullaby about chocolate on a mountain top.

This is Cam. Cam prefers to avoid roads and directions and instead trespass private property whenever possible. He also wins the award for most Smeagol-like behavior in a castle dungeon.

This is Lise. Lise has a habit of performing suggestive French hip gyrations on street corners at 7:30 in the morning. We also suspect she may actually murder someone during a game of Go Fish.

This is Edwin. We seldom see Edwin (Photo credit to Joanna Ebejer) because he is involved in an intense love affair with BlackRock. Edwin comes from Hong Kong, drinks banana milk, and thinks my name is Katy Perry.

To be fair, I will include a photo of myself, courtesy of Janetta McKenzie, in which I look fat, drunk and stupid all at once. Thank you Janetta. Additionally, to even the score, I will reveal that during the process of writing this post I spilled orange juice down my bra.

Note: There are many wonderful people who are not pictured in this highly complimentary post. If you are one of these, do not despair. Given time, photos and the appropriate number of embarrassing stories, you too may appear in The Black Pool.